Reverb 11: Day 7: Beyond Avoidance
What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
Laparoscopic surgery to remove my endometrioma and fibroids. So that I can move forward with having a child.
I have been through so much conflicted advice and distrust of doctors related to this, so it’s not surprising that I haven’t had the surgery. Though in retrospect, I wish I hadn’t cancelled the surgery this summer. I think I’ve just had really back luck with doctors in this regard. And it’s still hard to figure out; especially with my trip coming up – would it be better to just wait till I return from my trip, perhaps find a doctor in San Francisco and have the surgery there? Or do it in January (if I even can?) with Dr. D.? Or do it in February after I have leave town, but before I travel?
What I would love is for a doctor to walk me through the surgery who will also walk me through the egg donor abroad process. I don’t know if that’s too much to ask. But it sure would be nice. I have a feeling that RMA might be that place. But if I could just trust it again, I think perhaps W&I might be easiest. But who could help me recover? Oy. This is why I haven’t had the surgery yet. If H. decided to come live in my apartment, it would definitely work. Because she would totally take care of me. But I think she is going to stay where she is. And maybe she should.
So my question: how to move forward on this? Because I think my paralysis is because of not knowing the answers to these questions. What do I actually need to achieve this and get beyond it?
(1) A good surgeon
(2) Who can do the surgery close to someone who will take care me during recovery
(3) Who is willing to walk me through the steps
(4) Who I trust to bill me for as little fertility-wise as possible.
I need answers to these questions. I can ask on the PVED boards, the SMC list, and other fertility forums. In particular, I need to clarify my #4 – what exactly ARE the steps that would be needed, and how would I be billed? Those are really important questions for me to deal with.
And I promise to deal with them. Calmly, but in good order.
